hey guys..wow its been awhile since ive updated..sorry! lol..havent felt like it or just forgot! lol..but yeah..alots happened..well me and ashley were fighting but we are cool again and talkin and everything which im happy about..me n dylan are still best friends..lol..josh still has his gf *tear..lol*..umm..god..i dont know..im still missin julie like crazy..everytime i hear "who youd be today" i feel like crying..but yeah..i dont know..i will always miss her but i will be fine..lets see, what else..lol...oh..i talked to my best friend davey gravy online! hehe..hes greatness.....me and stacey are talkin again..we hung out yesterday*saturday*..we went to the movies at 2:00 to see Just Friends..oh man thats a great movie, hilarious..gotta go see it! lol..and then we walked in the freezing cold from Show Place 14 to the McDonalds by Denny's and shit..man let me tell you what cold is! lmao..stacey told me i was overexaggerating being cold..but i was doin it on purpose..hah..she said it sounded like i was having sex or sumthin! lmao..great times..then we finally get to mcdonalds and the stupid ppl dont know nething..first they forgot staceys large fry so we didnt know that was our order they were callin..lol...and then she ordered us 2 more cheeseburgers and they FORGOT to make them!! after like 10-20 minutes stacey went back up there to ask em..n they said they forgot...what idiots..they were messin around back there and the manager didnt say shit..i was pissed! but me and stacey talked alot about relationships and guys..we both decided that they are hard to understand and stupid...lol..well i said they were stupid..but yeah..they are really hard to understand and everything...but talkin with her helped me alot cuz i had no one to talk to about my feelings and everything cuz i feel no one really cares to hear them cuz they have their own problems but she brought up the subject so we talked about it..it was cool..i had a blast..i hope we get to do it again sometime..the gurls day out thing was fun..havent had one of those in a long time..then saturday night i went bowling and actually bowled..our lane was broke! lol..not really but it kept givin scores that we didnt actually get..i was mad cuz nikki kept gettin strikes when she didnt earn it!! lmao..but i had fun..i havent bowled since like..............last year maybe? lol...so it was fun..helped get my anger out kinda..these gurls were pissin me off tho..dont know who they were but they were pissin me off..im gonna go for now tho cuz im tired! update later or sumthin! love ya all that actually read this!

*Rest In Peace Julie Mayfield, Ned Anderson and Keven Ferrell! Love and Miss ya guys!*

*KeLLi ReNeE*

hey everyone...wow..i dont even know where to begin..my life is just goin way down hill lately and i hate it..all me and my friends do are fight nemore..i feel like im losin my best friend -ashley- bc of ppl tellin her im talkin shit when im not..why would i talk shit about my best friend? so idk..she hasnt really talked to me since last week...n then cassie, idk what to do about her nemore..i love her to death but like, i feel like she cares more about kristy now cuz she always talks to her  more than me now..so yeah..it pretty much sucks for me..i mean, atleast i still have dylan right now, right? i tell him so much..but yeah..hmm..i dont even really talk to my cousin -Devan- anymore cuz shes always with other friends..i feel she forgot who i was! we used to always be together..ive been talkin to brittany carter alot more lately..shes a sweetie..n i talk to stacey again but she has dusty and like, yeah..idk..and pam, oh man, i miss her..we talk about so much now..i know for a fact shes never told anyone any of my secrets ive told her..i miss being like best friends with her..i dont know..i guess i just miss my old life..that i used to have! anyways..i talked to jerrod online last nite and he got in trouble major! lol..he got in trouble for illegal street drag racin, runnin a red light and stop sign and running from the cops...he goes back to court in december..lol..i dont know about him nemore..but him n nicole or w/e her name was broke up a while ago cuz she cheated on him n he found out..ouch, hurts huh? coulda stayed with me and it woulda never happened but whatever! lol...i dont care nemore..i can do better..hah..but yeah..hmm..im so bored..its a saturday night and i dont have shit to do right now..i hope i get to go bowling tonight, im tired of being in the house! anyways..i talked to julies mom tonight and shes gonna give me a bracelet that they got made that says rip julie irene mayfield on it..shes a sweetie..she told me julie always talked about me sayin how she really liked me and how my dad knew her dad and now she knows who i am and everything..i didnt think she ever talked about me! its weird but im glad atleast i know she actually really did like me as a friend!..im gonna miss that gurl..but yeah..i love her mom so much..anyways..i think im gonna go for now so i will talk to ya all later..love ya all that read this!

*~*KeLLi ReNeE*~*

Rest In Peace Julie Irene Mayfield and Nedford "Ned" Everett Anderson Jr.!

man the past week sucked..i found out about julie and everything..and then i find out like 2 or 3 days later my friend ned got in a car accident and got killed too..he had a blood alcohol level of .08 but he lost control of the car i guess and hit a tree and his car got wrapped around the tree and he died of head injuries i guess..its a horrible thing..ive lost like 5 or 6 friends from death..that is a hard thing..really hard thing..hopefully i dont lose anymore, especially the ones that are really close to me..i went to julies wake on friday and man was that hard..there were so many ppl there that i knew that was crying..julies mom stood up by her casket the whole time, which i dont blame her..i seen my cousin clint and logan there..clint looked like he was takin it hard..they were pretty good friends, julie and clint..i gave him a hug..i talked to bryan there too and hugged him..and then saturday morning i went to angels house and i went with her,molly and rayray to the funeral..that was so freakin hard..the church was full of ppl, it was crazy..julie was so loved..they played julies favorite song at the beginning, ButterFly Kisses..then they talked about memories of julie and whatnot...her cousin Emily went up and read sumthin for julie and then at the end they played Kenny Chesneys song, Who Youd Be Today..i love those 2 songs..and Kenny Chesneys song reminds me so much of her and ned and the ones that died...then everyone got to go up to her casket like they do and see her one last time*that hurts to say that* n heather wanted me to put flowers in with julie so i did..then i hugged mary jane, jim and bryan..then we went out and waited for everyone to get done so we could go to the cemetary..there were so many cars! and when we got to the cemetary, they talked for maybe 5 minutes and then ppl could go back to the church for dinner or w/e..but we didnt stay for that..it was all so sad..its still kinda hard to believe shes gone..but yeah..and now monday im gonna go up to the funeral home im pretty sure for ned's..man..thats gonna hurt..im gonna miss that boy..i had a crush on him in like 6th and 7th grade..he was a sweetheart..so yeah..but i seen danny dickens this weekend..not the place i really wanted to see him at but atleast i seen him..i havent seen him since b4 he got locked up and went to bootcamp..so yeah..last night i went to the bowling alley..me and my mom goofed off quite a bit..it was actually great..as many times as i say i hate my mom or my dad, its not true..i love them to death and i would do nething for them..i just get pissed off or upset at them and yeah..who doesnt get ticked at their parents?! im thankful i have my parents..i dont know what id do w/o my parents..they get me thru so much..if im cryin, i always have them i can go to for a shoulder to cry on if i dont have my friends..i can say my mom is my best friend..i dont tell her EVERYTHING but i do talk to her about quite a bit..I love her to death..my dad too..with friends..i dont know anymore..i dont know who my friends are nemore i dont think..i know mindi is..shes always there for me..sometimes it dont seem like it but i know she is..now with guys, i dont know anymore..theres this one guy that i like & have since last year..and im confused cuz he says he kinda likes me but he has a gf and idk if i should believe him or not cuz he just doesnt seem like the guy to like me..its weird n confusing..he says he doesnt lie to gurls and that hes tellin the truth but i just dont know with guys anymore..im not gonna say his name or nething yet but yeah..IF he reads this, he knows who he is..but yeah..and then theres the other guy i liked..dylan..my best friend outta guys..i dont know if i should like him or even if i should tell him i do! ah im so freakin confused..i hate this..man oh man..idk..SOMEONE help me!! ..well im gonna go for now so i will talk to ya all later..love you all! xoxo

*KeLLi ReNeE*

hey everyone..well this weekend..was alright until last night when i found out some horrible news..one of my really good friends,Julie Mayfield,got shot in the head and died on Sunday night..they took her off of life support I guess..Im gonna miss that gurl..she was in my 5th hour class and ive been friends with her ever since her brothers party like a year or two ago! she was a great person and she was really sweet too. I can't believe God took her away..I guess it is true when they say only the good die young..Keven Ferrell, Eric Thaler, Steve Skoczek, Blake Kelly, Mandy Rosolik and now Julie..Its not a fun thing to experience..ive lost 3 friends now..I cant stand this world anymore..im glad i have the very FEW friends that i have that actually care about me..i just wish i hung out with and talked to all my old friends still..especially matt z..i love him to death..i still consider him one of my best guy friends even tho we dont talk as much, id still do anything for that boy! matt, i love you lots! dylan yankes another one of my best guy friends..i can tell him nething..those are two guys i can talk to and i would do ANYTHING for..and i have some female friends too but theres more than 2 of them so yeah..i dont feel like namin em all..but yeah..im sure they know who they are..but yeah..im gonna go for now..ill update later on..ttyl..love you all that reads this! nite

xoxo <3

~*~KeLLi ReNeE~*~

         RIP JULIE IRENE MAYFIELD! LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU LOTS!

hey everyone! lets see..im gonna update really fast before i get offline..friday i did nuthin and saturday i went to the bowling alley and got to see my mindi, brandon(brick), joey n my friend charles..i had a blast there..i was so hyper off the candy they were givin out! lol..it was great fun...havent had that much fun since b4 me and jerrod went out..hopefully this saturday for jenns party there will be that much fun..maybe even more fun! lol..sunday my family went out to eat for my oldest sisters bday..her bday was halloween..shes 27..and then we came home and watched tv and i got online. ANYWAYS..i like this one guy alot but i cant tell him..i just cant..i dont want to change nething and i dont want to scare him off...it sucks..but yeah..anyways..dylan is like my best friend ever..hes so sweet to me and he helps me out so much with my problems and hes always there for me..which is a good thing..and im always there for him and he knows that..we always talk to eachother about our problems! i love him lots!:) man..i miss hangin out with alot of ppl..especially my matthew! :( i always had so much fun hangin out with him..he always had sumthin to say to make me smile and everything..we need to hang out again matt:) i miss you lots!...hmm..yeah..i wish me and jason could meet up! lol..we keep sayin we will and we never do! growl..lol..oh wells! good luck in court thursday jason! and as far as jerrod goes, he STILL hasnt talked to me since we broke up..and it sucks ass but i guess im doin a lil better! thanx for the comments matthew and joey! Love you both! well im gonna go for now and ill talk to everyone later! love you all lots! nite..xoxo

~*~KeLLi ReNeE~*~

-I Wish I Could Tell Him How Much I Like Him-